egg salad

I have been weirded out by egg salad for about 23 years. Growing up, nothing seemed more disgusting than an egg salad sandwich. However, a month or so ago, my friend Caitlin ordered one and offered me a bite. Holy hell, was it amazing. I am positively irate. Ever since then, I’ve been an egg salad making fiend. And I just can’t get enough.

Okay, so this is a recipe that means you have to make another recipe, but I swear to god that it’s worth it. I have been making the shallot vinaigrette for months now – it has become a staple in my kitchen. It’s perfect as a vinaigrette for an arugula salad, but it also adds a punchy, tangy element to everything it touches. Like this egg salad.

I like it best on arugula, topped with radishes because they are pretty and peppery. But this would be excellent on a sandwich, too.


Best Damn Paleo Egg Salad

Makes 3-4 servings

8 hard boiled eggs, peeled

1/2 cup homemade olive oil mayo

2 tbsp Dijon Mustard

1/4 cup of Simone’s Shallot Vinaigrette

1 tbsp capers

1 heaping tbsp dried dill

thin cut radishes to garnish

1. Mash up the hard boiled eggs until fluffy. Then, add mayo and mustard until it is uniformly combined. Add in the vinaigrette, capers, & dill until combined. Top with thinly cut radishes.

2. In my opinion, the best way to enjoy this salad is on top of some arugula.





I guess I don’t have too much to say about this recipe, except it’s comforting as hell and I loved it.

It’s rich, tangy, and flavorful, and would be equally as good on some regular pasta.


Turkey Bolognese with Zucchini Noodles

1 pound ground turkey

3 tbsp coconut OR olive oil

1 white or yellow onion, diced

4 garlic cloves, minced

1 package mushrooms, cleaned and sliced thin

1 can diced tomatoes

1 jar paleo approved pasta sauce (Marinara or Tomato basil works well, too. You can also make your own but this worked for my busy schedule)

3 tbsp red wine vinegar

1 cup coconut milk

1 tsp dried basil

1tsp red pepper flakes

Salt & Pepper

1 zucchini, julienned

1. In a cast iron dutch oven, heat up the oil. When it is shimmering, add in the onion and cook until translucent, which should take 5-10 minutes. Add the garlic  and mushrooms in and saute for another 5 minutes.

2. Add in the turkey, and cook until it is browned. Salt the meat! Then, add in the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, and vinegar. Cover the pot and let simmer for 20-25 minutes.

3. After 20-25 minutes, add in the coconut milk, dried basil, and red pepper flakes. Let simmer for another 15 minutes.

4. While the sauce is simmering, put the julienned zucchini in a dish in the microwave with a dash of salt. Microwave on high for 1.5 minutes. Set aside.

5. Taste the sauce…add salt and pepper to taste, and take a big scoop and top your zoodles! The sauce makes a lot so repeat with the zucchini each time you need some.





I’m over a week and a half into this thing, and I have to say, it’s going very well. I’ve found that if I dedicate some time from my weekend into food prep, it makes the week go by so much easier.

So, about this chicken. It’s amazing, and I don’t even feel like a braggart by saying so.  It is probably my favorite recipe I’ve ever came up with. The marinade results in some seriously flavorful chicken. The tamarind paste adds tang and the coconut milk adds a creamy depth and the cilantro adds freshness.  And, if you go to an Asian grocery store for most of the ingredients, it’s pretty affordable. Seriously, every staple (fish sauce, tamarind paste, cilantro, ginger) is so much more affordable at Sun Foods than at a traditional grocer.

Also, the marinade would be amazing on fish or pork, as well. I even tried to drink it but thankfully I stopped myself.


Coconut Tamarind Chicken

For Marinade:

1 can full fat coconut milk

3 tbsp tamarind concentrate

2 tbsp fish sauce (I use Red Boat)

1 tbsp diced fresh ginger

Juice of one lime

1/2 cup cilantro, chopped

For chicken:

1 package bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs (should have 5-6 thighs)

Salt + pepper to taste

1 large onion, cut into 1/2 inch circles


1. For the marinade – mix all ingredients listed above well. I like to use a glass jar and shake shake shake like the dickens.

2. In a glass bowl, add the chicken thighs and then cover in marinade. Cover the bowl and let refrigerate for at least an hour. For better results, let it sit for 3-4 hours.

3. Once chicken is marinated, pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Take a cast iron skillet and cover the bottom with the onions. Then, nestle the thighs on top. If there is extra marinade, pour that on top of the whole thing.

4. Roast for 40 minutes, until skin is crispy. Note – there will be extra sauce. What I did was take some of the pan sauce and I blended it with a bit of the onions. I have used it as a sauce for chicken and vegetables. YUM.





Well hell. I’m doing this madness AGAIN because I am a total masochist!

Actually, it’s because I am all bloaty and my skin looks like crap and I feel like a fatty and I could use something to distract myself with. I’ll be honest with you all. I am annoyed with myself that I don’t adhere to the limited dairy/grains/sugar guidelines on a regular basis. I feel so much better about myself when I eat this way, and after I do a Whole30, I feel great for two months, until I find myself drunkenly eating a slice of mac n cheese pizza at 2am and everything falls down. Oh well. Try & try again is the motto, right?

I’m halfway through my second day and it’s going well. I used this weekend to prep the shit out of my refrigerator, and it’s paying off in dividends.

Here is what I made this weekend (I also spilled 16oz of precious coconut oil on myself while making food prep…hopefully it bodes well for this endeavor)

1. Tamarind – Coconut Milk chicken – which is AMAZING and I will be sharing the recipe here post-haste

2. Spinach-bacon sautee

3. Quick pickled cucumbers and onions

4. Turkey – Zucchini – Garlic ‘mix up’ that I have been LOVING with my eggs in the morning.

5. The best egg salad of my life. With homemade mayo, of course.

Wish me luck, babies. I’ll need it come 4th of July when a beer looks better than Bradley Coopers face.



















This is the kind of meal I like to make when I’m heart broken.


Salmon always makes my skin glow, even when I’ve been crying hard the night before. The dill & lemon remind me of spring which reminds me that all things move on & that this, too, shall pass.


Some how, wrapping healthy as hell salmon with thick cut bacon relaxes me. It at least gets me off the couch for enough time to stop listening to The National for a bit.


This is an excellent way to prepare salmon, even if you’re happy. I like it best topping rice bowls with arugula & capers & caramelized onions.


Bacon & Dill Salmon

1 piece of salmon, 2-3 inches thick with the skin still on

3 tbsp mayonnaise (use homemade if you’re making this paleo)

3 tsp dill

2 tsp fresh lemon juice

3-4 pieces of bacon

  1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise, dill, and lemon juice with a fork until well mixed.
  3. With that fork, spread the mayonnaise mixture on top of the salmon, coating it.
  4. Wrap the bacon around the salmon, leaving an inch of salmon exposed with each slice.
  5. Bake for 15-20 minutes, depending on thickness. Check every 10 minutes to make sure you don’t overcook.
  6. ENJOY! Also, if you see me, tell me to stop being so dramatic & to buck the hell up.






Do you like mac-n-cheese? I do. I like it a lot.

photo 2(1)

I like it EVEN MORE when it’s loaded with sauteed mushrooms & crispy bacon.

photo 4(1)

I made this for my cousin Nik’s birthday dinner. I think a good time was had by all….unfortunately, the three of us were supremely hungover from the previous nights drink-fest. Seriously, that party was wild. We went through at least two bottles of fireball whiskey, a keg, ten bottles of wine, a case of Mango-ritas, and about 50 cans of beer.

photo 5


Anyways, this hit the spot, hangover-wise.  I served it with an arugula salad. It was awesome.

Mushroom & Bacon Mac-n-Cheese

5-6 strips of bacon, cut into lardons.

1 pkg mushrooms (I used baby bellas but go crazy)

2tbsp Worcestershire sauce

2 cloves garlic, chopped

5 tablespoons butter

4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
4 cups milk (any kind…the more fat, though, the better)
4oz havarti, shredded
8oz Monterey jack, shredded
1/4 cup bleu cheese, crumbled
1/4 cup Parmesan, shredded

4 cups dried macaroni

1. Cook the macaroni to the package directions, minus a minute or two…it will cook when you bake it. Then set aside.
2.  Saute the bacon on medium heat until crisp. Remove and place on a plate, covered with a paper towel, to drain. Drain MOST of the grease from the pan, but keep a little bit because that’s what you’re gonna saute the mushrooms in.
3. Saute the mushrooms with in the leftover bacon grease, and add in the Worcestershire sauce. Saute until browned on both sides. Remove from heat & add to the plate with the bacon and try not to pick and eat them while making the rest of the meal. At this point, also pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.
4. In a saucepan (I used my enameled dutch oven though, to minimize cleanup), heat the butter over medium-low heat until melted. Add in the garlic and saute for 1 minute.  Add the flour and stir until smooth. WHISK WHISK WHISK until the butter/flour mix turns to a golden color. KEEP WHISKING, and add in the milk. Whisk until it thickens…if it’s not thickening, add some more flour.
5. Dump all the cheese in, and whisk until melted. If needed, add more milk to thin out. When it’s ready, dump in the noodles, bacon, and mushrooms and mix together.  If want to bake it right away, pop it in the pre-heated oven for 20 minutes, covered for the first 10 minutes, uncovered for the last 10. Or, you can make this ahead of time and keep it in the fridge until you’re ready to make it.













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